Love buddy

Listen I know I'm going through this phase of healing but I got boy after boy on my plate. Well let me Tell you. I feel like boy that I'm healing from is Exactly that. I've finally taken off the ring. But boy number 2 you see him. He was trouble. We have reached our climax. I think. I made my bed. He's made his. But Why am I trying still. Hmm I don't know. But all I know is I want to be "buddies" with him. I don't want anything else. I'm done with the thought of feelings. And I know he can offer me nothing but a touch.
But Why am I still thinking about the future/present. Why do I feel like telling him everything and discussing things but we can't even talk hmm?
"real talk, is in need of some need of some real thought."